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[3-4] its 430, lying in bed wondering what, you are doing i hope im proven wrong i send a text, you dont reply an all too common phenomenon i hope yr generally ok worry i will always be when you break down, consistently i hope im right all along and then i hear, through the grapevine that you are not truly fine anxiety, builds up in my mind thats it im coming over checking up on you i hope you dont mind i hope you dont mind that i care about you very much its killing me to see you this way to find that all my worries were warranted you say "you feel disturbed" but yr not exactly telling me to get out to get out knock on yr door, you open it you say yr fine, but i can sense not really yr not fooling me i ask what's up, you reply oh my god, its worse than i thought im not proven wrong this is why i came over checking up on you i feel it in my gut i feel it in my gut coz i know you dont want to hear this, its annoying but i've been on the other side, and you wont survive if you dont start reaching out, to anyone you know like me, like me, like me, like me in front of you right now [literary bibliography] 3. Leiberman, Mark. "Friendly Friend Friendly." Language Log. 20 July 2011. Web. 27 July 2011. <http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=3286#more-3286>. 4. Marciuliano, Francesco and Craig Macintosh. "Sally Forth." Comic strip. Seattle Times [Seattle] 19 July 2011. Print.

[5] where am i now stopped paying attention going, go, gone my apprehention empty i feel but whats so bad about that whats so bad about that you should just look around and realized we have won the lottery you should just look around and realized we have won already what are you thinking whatever it's too much just come with me cmon it's just lunch so what if you feel empty fullness ain't a prerequisite to indulge in conversation whats so bad about that even if its true you should just look around and realized we have won the lottery you should just look around and realized we have won already why are you still fussing around? what are you waiting for? an epiphany? well its nt gonna come if you still think yr worthless yr not realize that we are lucky realize life can be its own reward look at your four walls and see its not that bad of a life --------------------------------------- [literary bibliography] 5. Charlie Sheen: Watch the Full '20/20' Interview. Prod. Roone Arledge. Perf. Charlie Sheen and Andrea Canning. Abcnews.com. 26 Feb. 2011. Web. 09 July 2011. <http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/charlie-sheen-interview-special-edition-2020/story?id=13008140>.

[6] “You will be giants in the land.” Yet we did not believe. So as we passed our peers in height our hearts started to freak. We quickly found that extra height is a burden not easily borne We can not fit in human homes yet see over their heads. “Cut me off at the knees,” some cry “And then I’ll be like you!” Others stop their growing And from then on, just make do But what of those who keep on growing? Where do they call home? Their footsteps fill the world but I still don’t know where they’re going. It’s not easy for men to know that giant hearts to tick too And as our man friends dwindle Our use for height does too And I am at the trailhead. I see wanderers ahead Those who beg on crippled legs and ignorers behind but i dont care I will grow strong and mighty but mostly go alone Does being what we’re meant to be replace the yearn for home? i dont think so this is the sacrifice i have gone through i can never return to where you are just come with me the "cut off yr knees" is just a metaphor its easily recoverable easily regenerable just come with me ------------------------------------------------------------ [literary bibliography] 6. Kang, Jay C., and Bill Barnwell. "A Man Alone: Dirk vs. the Heat." Grantland.com. ESPN, 9 June 2011. Web. 9 June 2011. <http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6642375/dirk-vs-heat>.

[7] she sat me down in lieu of plans of rendevouz with you expressed concerns of my interest in loving you "what is your deal, you crazy man? is it obsession or true love as we know it?" "i dont know sister of my love can you tell me? what this is? coz im too far in it to know anymore, why are you asking? why are you asking?" so she told me that you cried just recently over me now i feel bad but all i can say to her was how i felt, selfishly "trust that my intentions are pure as i know i dont to hurt her in any way or capacity?" "well i dont know hanabishi-kun what to do either i love my sister too more so than you i would imagine, i would imagine" "that this is all just something that is not appropriate now dont push a square peg to a round hole i know you love her and i believe that you want to help but i want you to leave her alone she needs her space, like she always has she needs to figure this out on her own do what she will, i will always be with her whatever happens dont you worry oh my god yr not listening, i guess what love'll do to you... hanabishi-kun! hanabishi-kun!" "oh i blanked out there for a while im sorry what were you saying just now?" "just that this love comes with many risks as you know i know yr really deaf, just get this through your head" "that i dont know what'll happen tween the two of you, that is up to you but know that sometimes intentions arent enough i would know" "thank you, thank you, fujioka-san" "no that wasnt a exactly blessing you idiot." ---------------------------------------- [lterary bibliography] 7. Reed, Adam. "Training Day." Archer. Prod. Matt Thompson. FX. FX, 14 Jan. 2010. Television.

[fulltitle: "Anyone Can Play Guitar 2: The Fan Sequel (Just Wanna Play Portal 2 With You, or, "So There's This French [...] Well French Iranian Cartoon Called "Persepolis" About Growing Up in Iran During the Iranian Revolution or Whatever... It's Fun! You'll Like It!"), or, "Any state that passes a bill that tries to regulate video games based on content is just asking to pay my legal fees..." - Paul Smith"] [8][9][10][11] Tsubasa, come out and play Lets play our games all day forget about the perils in our minds lets see how much joy we can find well this ones adverserial And this one is co-op oh what's the experience today you wont know if you dont come out and play oh What have you got to lose except time alone to be depressed come out and feel something else something more cmon, just listen to my words its not really that absurd you'll feel better if you'd just let go any notion of total control lets do whatever you want your wish is my command you owe yourself to lighten up might seem hard, but its really not oh What have you got to lose except time alone to be depressed come out and feel something else something less crushing, less depressing we're gonna hang out, have fun, and forget we're gonna hang out, have fun, fun forget bout life, release tensions in conversation, weve done this before, so you know how it goes i know yr in there, i just heard you fumble about! you just turned off your lights right therre cmon come out, come ou--oh whats the bloody point? fuck me its raining... ------------------------------------------ [lterary bibliography] 8. Yorke, Thom, Jonny Greenwood, Colin Greenwood, Ed O'Brien, and Phil Selway. Anyone Can Play Guitar. Radiohead. Rec. Autumn 1992. Sean Slade and Paul Q. Kolderie, 1993. MP3. 9. Wolpaw, Erik, Jay Pinkerton, and Chet Faliszek. Portal 2. Producer Gabe Newell. 18 Apr. 2011. Video Game. Valve Corporation, Bellevue, WA. 10. Persepolis. Dir. Vincent Paronnaud and Marjane Satrapi. Perf. Chiara Mastroianni, Catherine Deneuve and Gena Rowlands. 2.4.7. Films, 2007. DVD. 11. Grant, Christopher. "Victory Lap: ESA Responds to Supreme Court Decision." Joystiq.com. AOL Inc., 27 June 2011. Web. 27 June 2011. <http://www.joystiq.com/2011/06/27/victory-lap-esa-responds-to-supreme-court-decision/>.

Oh to talk, how we love to talk bout anyone and anything we can think of better if malicious and feel good at third party's expense its instant, its satisfying, its wrong a vicious circle the world is made for people who arent cursed with selfawareness[12] like me and im aware painfully aware, it is me and my stupid ideals its pretty clear they're pretty unique and not in a good way a sociable way, or even a way that makes me content its just discomfort, perpetual discomfort and an awkward sense that i just dont belong which makes someone like you seem bright to me, inappropriately so if your insecurities are to be believed the world is not made for people who doubt themsleves like we do and we do doubt ourselves coz it is us and our stupid ideals its pretty clear they're pretty unique and not in a good way a sociable way, or even a way that makes uscontent why do i insist in loving the unloveable why do you insist on feeling unloved it stems from the same place a place of kindness but i'd rather be evil than feel this tortured i know you feel the same youve said so many times before and just as frequent you deny yrself pleasure have i done the same? the world is made for people who arent cursed with self-awareness as deeply as us and our stupid ideals its pretty clear they're pretty unique and not in a good way a sociable way, or even a way that makes us content to live with our ownselves like a normal person would i just thought of something new just now what if we could just be ourselves and not give a fuck? well we'd be content then, wouldnt we? ---------------------------------------- [lterary bibliography] 12. Bull Durham. Dir. Ron Shelton. Perf. Kevin Costner, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins. Orion Pictures, 1988. DVD.

[13] Cigars and whiskey and poker and bros late night conversations, smoke in my nose tonight I keep together, ignore “no place home” my gut will sober, but my life stays stoned I feel at least twelve pieces are within my soul this and that and you and we and all our hopes. Bros celebrate your “we” to come, and we all know: “When my cards come together, you will crash at my home.” In two days we’ll stand with and we will all feel weird You in joy and us for what? we still don’t know You’ve forced us to be honest; we can’t bluff or fold: “My faith can’t move a mountain; I’ve got no wife to show.” Wedding vows are funny things, they are not your own Those married think on “what we’ve done” while singles fuss and woe. “Is it something that I’ve done? Or something I must be?” In dread, in hope, in fear, in lust, we bet; the Dealer sees Cigars and whiskey and poker and bros legal and in moderation, safety: couch and floor today I keep together, head out to the show. There’s no time for thinking. It’s logistics. Here we go. but under that today I keep together, ignore “no place home” my gut will sober, but my life stays stoned ---------------------------------------------- [lterary bibliography] 13. "Song Structure (popular Music)." Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Web. 15 Aug. 2011. <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Song_structure_(popular_music)>.

[14] My fire will be eternal: should yours not die out No matter all this ice between us, or your sense of doubt this inferno of ours will heal us should it catch it will nourish me, ressurect you, so breathe long, breath deep Immortal we will be, laying content upon the pyre Forever warm, enamored As our world explodes! Ok that's all i got im not much of a poet and this is not much of a poem but what else am i to do? as all my advances have been twarted by you i am reduced to these feeble attempts at free verse try as I might, you favor me a fool, ' but its hard to bear your heart and soul, and still be seen as cool, but i dont care well not anymore anyway my shroud is ash, you have set it ablaze ive got nothing left but me, myself and I and my hellish intentions that you fear like the devil incarnate himself its random screaming time! and its gonna be awesome! sonething something and you will see i dont know what to say anymore nothing is working at all man yknow? yeah yeah i have no direction in my life i dont know what im doing anymore man im kinda drunk right now its kinda like uggh i dont know what you want anymore you dont want anything from me obviously im willing to do anything for you within reason ive done soap what more could you ask of me coz i dunno remember that time when i came to yr place and you said you were ok but you were not ok not ok at all, remember that i came and i cared and you tell me i dunno i love you i love you so much [incoherent] yeah i dunno anymore man so hiiii-iigh high...so hiigh and it is awesome you should try this it cures depression you should try this out coz it cures depression i does, it really does i was like really depressed before... now...im still really depressed but ive gained an understanding...on life oh man that was the mic is not really working so well i dont know why am i recording this what am i doing i dunno i wish you could be a different person but if you were a different person then you would be a different person and you wouldnt be the one i am in love with it is fabolous not really tho and this is... "i am not on drugs, not on drugs man" drugs are bad just say no drugs are bad and just say no why am i rapping in the middle of this song im not even a good rapper so kill me kill my ass and i will be fine dont kill yrself coz you wont be fine no! dont kill your self coz you will be fine you will be fine. you will be fine. you will be fine you will be fine. you will be fine. you will be fine you will be fine as long as...you have to open up you will be fine if you open up id be great if i was with you, but thats not a priority...right now! i know thats not a priority right now i know just please be ok, just be ok just please be ok. --------------------------------------------- [literary biography] 14. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Dir. Edgar Wright. By Bryan L. O'Malley. Perf. Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Kieran Culkin. Universal, 2010. DVD.

[15] Disapointment disappointed all the time its the risk i take trying to make something outta nothing all you end up with is nothing i dont know why i try i dont know why there is this primal instinct inside it always takes over no matter how i try an push it back this is how the lord made me and i know wishing for change will not change me might as well stew in this cell till someone comes for me regret all the things i've done for some reason cant do any good what is wrong with me can you tell me i dont know why i ask i dont know why why do i do the things i do? why does the world looks a certain way? why do i care about what i care about why do i need this sung aloud does anything matter at all? does this song matter at all? for its just an expression of ------------------------------------------------- [literary bibliography] 15. Harrison, Reid. "The Other Cousin." Drawn Together. Dir. Peter Avanzino. Comedy Central. New York City, New York, 1 Dec. 2004. Television.

[pt. 1: Hey, I Love You] the say the road to hell is paved with the best of intentions[16] makes me wonders which degree burns am in for if i continue being who i am to you the woman i choose to love unaccepting as you are arms length you keep me on the edge of limbo ready to push me over why do you do this? are you scared? that i'll inadvertantly pull you in take the risk it'll be worth it i am not making anything up when i say do believe in you my faith is so strong dare i say it rivals my faith in god Himself for he, created me and you and this circumstance but still arms length you keep me on the edge of limbo ready to push me over why do you do this? are you scared? that i'll inadvertantly pull you in anyway take the risk it'll be worth it just take the risk it'll be worth it [pt. 2: What Else Is New (Reprise)] You are a coal Burning fire, burning soul Not black from dirt, but being. Admit you do, you've still come through. Yet cessation still sounds freeing. Gentle assurances from ones you love. Grant you virility to push forward Though you may be challenged Pressure from all sides You have put up with the torment. Accept your strength, Embrace the pressure, break every last confinement. At your best, you are hard pressed, but then can you can be a diamond. pt. 3: In My Dreams, You Wanted Pictures of our Projected Future [A. Ashari] and so our lives continue on the whim of our chemistries will it lead to more doom or maybe we make it out alive i hope its the latter coz no one wants to die broke of contentment, but how can we achieve that? if you dont seize every oppurtunity to make yourself happy i should listen to my own advice apparently that’s what i need right now but you oh you i love you and i would give anything for god knows what now but ill settle today to tell you this weird thing in my dreams you said you wanted pictures of our projected future and this is the best i can do ----------------------------------------------------------- [literary bibliography] 16. "the road to hell is paved with good intentions", Proverbs, Infobase Publishing, 2007, p. 234, ISBN 9780816066735

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